Page 25 - MASALA LITE ISSUE 80 | MAY 2017

ETIQUETTE

MRS
CHAUHAN

WISING UP TO WHATSAPP

Dear Mrs Chauhan,
In the world of digital connections, I’d be really interested to fi nd out the correct
etiquette for WhatsApp correspondence for early conquests. I’m a 22 year-old
guy who met a girl a few months ago, after being introduced by a friend. We
hit it off pretty quickly and went on a few dates within the fi rst few weeks.
The trouble started after that. Though she had once explained that she was a
‘terrible messager’, I hadn’t been prepared for the long ‘she’s not even checking
her messages’ period that followed. A couple of weeks passed when she hadn’t
her messages’ period that followed. A couple of weeks passed when she hadn’t
even read my message, let alone answered it. Then, one
even read my message, let alone answered it. Then, one
more week after that, out of the blue, she was back
with a ‘been really busy’ message, as if all was right
with the world. Actually, it might have been, if it hadn’t
been for the slacking off period that followed afterwards.
been for the slacking off period that followed afterwards.
What’s a guy to do? I really like her, and it feels like she
What’s a guy to do? I really like her, and it feels like she
really likes me, but this is hardly a relationship.
really likes me, but this is hardly a relationship.
Dear Wising up to Whatsapp,
I feel for you, I really do. I think you’ve been patient long enough though, and
if you like her enough to bother, then it is time to step things up a notch.
WhatsApp hasn’t been working for you, so let’s try something else. You
probably know where she chills out with her friends on a weekend, so it’s time
to “accidentally” bump into her. One or two drinks later, pop the question, not
‘will you marry me’, but ‘let’s get more serious about this thing, shall we?’

SPACING OUT
Dear Mrs Chauhan,
I am desperately in need of space. I’m 21 and
I’ve been going out with my boyfriend since
high school. Now that we are in the same city,
we mostly live together, except when I go home
for the occasional night to see the parents.
We both have full-time jobs and spend most evenings together. I am a very
independent person, and every few days I get the urge to spend time by myself,
which causes problems. My boyfriend doesn’t understand my need for space and
he reacts badly, sending lots of mean messages.
Dear Spacing Out,
As this is a long-term relationship, I would advise you to make the eff ort to
communicate and honestly tell him why you need to be alone, and how your
alone time will result in a healthier relationship. Though the relationship is not
new, you don’t seem to have been living together for long, so expect many of
the same teething problems other couples experience in the beginning. Take
the time and eff ort to adjust and all will come right in the end.

THE HOME-WORK BALANCE

Dear Mrs Chauhan,
I am a newly married 25 year old, and live with
my husband and very conservative in-laws.
During the wedding, all went well and I can
truly say I was relieved to have found the
perfect husband and family. However, I started back at work a month ago as
a department director, with 200 people under my care. I used to manage the
stress easily while living with my parents, but now that I have to go back home
to the in-laws, things have, as they say, come unstuck. Instead of being able
to return home and curl up on the sofa in front of the TV, I fi nd myself having
to exchange domestic chat with my mother-in-law and participate in lengthy
dinner preparations for the whole family. This is followed by dinner, and by the
time I make it to our room, I feel so tense that I don’t even feel like greeting my
husband. I’ve mentioned my feelings to my husband already, but he just smiles
and says how happy his mother is to have a daughter-in-law like me, and how it
would be a pity to change all that.
Dear Home-Work Balance,
You’ve been putting up with this for a month now, and if you don’t blow up
soon, I’d be surprised. With 200 people under you at work, you are clearly a
person of authority and a good manager. So isn’t it time to apply those same
good qualities at home? Time to call a meeting with your latest problem area —
your husband and mother-in-law, and draw up some grounds rules. How about
claiming free time for yourself between getting home and dinner — if your
mother-in-law has domestic help, that is? Getting the right home-work balance
requires some eff ort at fi rst, but things will get better as soon as you share your
concerns openly and off er reasonable solutions. Good luck!

Have an etiquette question? Send your dilemmas to
info@masalathai.com. Write “Mrs Chauhan” in the subject line.
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