Page 30 - MASALA LITE ISSUE 92 | MAY 2018

ETIQUETTE

MRS
CHAUHAN

CONFESSIONS OF A WALLFLOWER

Dear Mrs Chauhan,
I suffer from overwhelming shyness. I really envy people who have a gift for
the gab as that is something I wish I had. I hate that I can’t talk to new people
without feeling awkward. I made a promise to myself that I would try to step
out of my comfort zone, have fun and make some new friends. Any tips on
how I can start to be less reserved and more talkative?
Dear Wallflower,
First of all, you need to stop putting yourself down. Introverts
have their strengths too. In fact, it has been proven that they
do better in one-on-one situations, as opposed to group
scenarios. The fi rst trick to talking to someone new is to
keep asking them questions, until you fi nd some common
ground. Don’t worry about this looking strange — most
people actually like it when you ask about them because it
makes it seem as if you fi nd them interesting, which helps
them to warm up and feel more comfortable around you.
Once you fi nd that common ground, don’t be afraid to share
your own personal anecdotes related to it. People always love hearing new
perspectives or opinions, and saying something is better than saying nothing.
Hope this helps, and happy friend hunting!

WHAT NEXT?

Dear Mrs Chauhan,
I recently graduated and I started my fi rst job a few months ago. It’s in the fi eld
I studied, which I really enjoyed learning. The thing is, it’s nothing like what I
learned at university! I’ve been making lots of mistakes and I’m feeling stressed
out because I know my boss isn’t pleased with me. I’m beginning to feel like I’m
just not cut out for the corporate world and I still have so much to learn. I know
I’ll have to leave the company soon but I honestly don’t know what to do next.
Please help!

Dear What Next?
As hard as it may be to believe, just because you don’t
perform well at a certain job doesn’t mean you are
completely hopeless as a person. Everyone is talented
in a diff erent way; it’s a matter of fi guring out what you
are good at. I fi nd the best way to do this is to go back to
what you liked as a child. Were you into drawing? Or more
into sports? Once you identify specifi c skills or interests you
have, try and see if that translates into a job of some kind. For
example, if you liked art, you could think about applying
for a graphic designer position or maybe even becoming
an art teacher to share your passion with others.

MISS MOVIN’ ON
Dear Mrs Chauhan,
I’ve been in a serious relationship for three years and I have decided to end
things with him. He took it pretty well and we decided to stay friends. The
thing is, about a few weeks after the break-up, I met someone I really liked.
We have a lot of chemistry and he’s asked me out on a date. However, I know
my ex will have a hard time accepting this if he finds out because he’s quite
sensitive. How do I handle this situation and when is it the right time to start
seeing someone new?
Dear Miss Movin’ On,
Honestly, there is never a ‘right’ time
to begin dating again. You could wait
months and it could still not be the right
time. So make sure you evaluate the
circumstances before deciding on how to
proceed. Is this new guy really someone
you could see yourself being serious with? Or
are you just trying to distract yourself from being
‘alone?’ After a break-up, it’s recommended that you
don’t start something for at least a month. You need time to recover, process
what happened and build up your self-esteem again. In regards to your ex,
if he really is that sensitive, and if you do decide to go ahead and pursue this
new beau, it’s better you be upfront with him, instead of him fi nding out
through someone else.

Have an etiquette question? Send your dilemmas to
info@masalathai.com. Write “Mrs Chauhan” in the subject line.

MAS AL A LITE ISSUE 9 2 MAY 2 018